Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Urine is the New Black

*Note: The following post may contain some sexual material presented in a purely medical context.

I'm not even sure if this post will have sexual material, but I just find that note to be appropriate for this site in general. Anyway, I know why you're here. You've seen Mr. Blackwell's newest 10 worst-dressed list and you just couldn't wait to hear my thoughts on the subject. Well, first off, I was a little surprised to see Serena Williams come in at number 6, am I right girls? It turns out that she was not too pleased to see her name on said list, which is understandable. We can expect to see some backlash on that one coming towards you Mr. Blackwell, you silly goose! That brings me to the next biggest surprise on the list: me at number 4. I really think what cost me this year is that time last July when I took the trash out to my apartment complex's dumpster in my green urine-soaked sweatpants and knee-high snow boots. But I did bring my Louis Vuitton dog-carrier and wear an old navy pullover that I stole from the back of a pickup truck at Wal-Mart, so I guess I'm not really sure what the problem was. But just to let you know, Mr. Blackwell, you will rue the fucking day that you put my name on that fucking list of bullshit, because I'll fucking kill you. And if you think I'm joking Blackwell, just try me you gay piece of shit. I fucking dare you! The only fucking list you're gonna make is the back page obituaries, you worthless fucking piece of mother fucking fuck!
Wow, that got out of hand pretty quick. Let's just calm it down and end on a good note. I hear that the U.S. Marines are gonna scale back the tsunami aid, so that's good news for all involved. I mean, why help people who aren't even white in the first place, when we could easily be rounding them up and killing them for sport in a massive man-made booby-trapped biodome filled with gold? Answer me that.


Blogger Rachel Norfleet said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:08 PM, January 12, 2005  

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