Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Mrs. Pettit, Meet Hiram Grandiose

If you want to know what I think is funny, here it is. I was sitting here obsessively clicking the "next blog" button when I miraculously stumbled upon the greatest site that I have ever been to. The blog is intended to be used for Mrs. Pettit's tenth grade honors literature class. The post said this:

Prompt #3 - Please post by 10:00 p.m. on Tuesday, April 13th.
As the novella progresses and comes to a close, Equality certainly questions the morality of his society (as we discussed in Prompt #1). Describe the change in his perspective of his society, and WHAT SPECIFIC EVENTS bring about this change. Remeber to write at least 4 sentences to receive credit.


Cleverly posing as Hiram Grandiose, tenth grade student, I replied with this:

As the novella progresses, Equality's perspective of his society changes from one of ambivalence to one of apathy. Morality becomes more of an afterthought as Equality begins to rationalize his ambiguity in terms of adolescent behavioral tendencies. Vehement homogeneous presumptions perpetuate an inaptitude of systematic gregarious presupposition. Symbolic emergence is also essential to the abstract intimation of Prometheus' adjudication of the extraneous ambience.

Please forgive the tardiness of my reply

-Hiram Grandiose

Needless to say, harassing Mrs. Pettit will now become a regular part of my routine for the foreseeable future. Yes, Mrs. Pettit, you will rue the fucking day that you thought that you could use your blog as an innocent, helpful, classroom tool. Hiram Grandiose will make sure of that.

7 Comments:

Blogger Rachel Norfleet said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:39 PM, April 13, 2005  
Blogger JRae said...

I'm torn. On the one hand, I sympathize with Mrs. Pettit because I think she's pretty cool for using a blog as a classroom tool (since her school prob. doesn't have enough funding to set up a proper web tool), and she's also cool for allowing them to turn in homework up until 10 pm.

On the other hand, I think your response was pretty fucking hilarious. :)

4:46 PM, April 14, 2005  
Blogger JRae said...

Shame on you for not providing a link to her blog!! What kind of linkless blogger are you?!! I wanna answer too, damnit!! ;)

4:47 PM, April 14, 2005  
Blogger Blue LP said...

A certain 'Lion C' has asked me to request from you that he be allowed to post on Mrs. Pettit's website as well...he has some insights regarding blogging that he would like to share with a 10th grade audience.

I would post myself, but the terms of my probation prevent me from communicating with children over the internet.

8:45 PM, April 14, 2005  
Blogger Rowan said...

That is just too damned funny. I wanna play too!

5:14 PM, April 15, 2005  
Blogger Agent_LAH said...

Yeah, don't hog all the fun! We want to fuck with her too!

10:13 PM, April 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you bastards should be ashamed of yourselves! What happens between Mrs. Pettit and her students is none of our business, whether it be educational blogs or, scandalous sexual affairs that result in children out of wedlock and blowing on Mrs. Pettit's nipples until they just get so hard and stiff, so that you just want to...
oh, uh... I mean let this poor woman teach in peace! (long live Pope Benedict XVI)

3:20 PM, April 19, 2005  

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