Hardball with Murph: Gay Marriage: Fact or Fiction?
As I'm sure everyone can tell, I am a very intelligent man who likes to keep up on current events. Wait, whom likes to keep....who....
Anyway, recently there has been a heated debate between humans and republicans over whether or not gay people should be allowed to marry. And I know that with all the information out there, it's hard to know what to believe. So with that in mind, I just thought that I would clear up a few of the common misconceptions that surround the issue.
First of all, most people think that president Bush is morally opposed to the marital union of same sex partners. However, this is simply not the case. Over the past few years I've had several opportunities to sit down and have deep, hard-hitting, imaginary conversations with the president and I can personally assure you that he strongly supports gay marriage. Despite the fact that during these dreams the president would periodically transform into two women kissing around my penis, I was able to gather some important details about his stance on the issue. Most notably, while the discussions progressed it quickly became clear that George was somewhat misinformed about the specifics of gay relationships, as well as the basic laws of space, time, and physics.
You see, rather than sharing the popular religious belief that homosexual intercourse is a sin, the president is simply under the impression that legal marital equality would successfully compel thousands of storks to begin to deliver large numbers of babies to gay couples within an unreasonably short period of time. His concern is that this series of events would then cause the diversion of thousands of commercial airliners into federally protected airspace. In the interest of time I won't go into any further detail, but I will say that the bar graphs on the president's powerpoint presentation were particularly convincing.
I'm leaving work and I don't see this going anywhere, so maybe I'll be back in another month to add more. See you in hell, mother fuckers!
Anyway, recently there has been a heated debate between humans and republicans over whether or not gay people should be allowed to marry. And I know that with all the information out there, it's hard to know what to believe. So with that in mind, I just thought that I would clear up a few of the common misconceptions that surround the issue.
First of all, most people think that president Bush is morally opposed to the marital union of same sex partners. However, this is simply not the case. Over the past few years I've had several opportunities to sit down and have deep, hard-hitting, imaginary conversations with the president and I can personally assure you that he strongly supports gay marriage. Despite the fact that during these dreams the president would periodically transform into two women kissing around my penis, I was able to gather some important details about his stance on the issue. Most notably, while the discussions progressed it quickly became clear that George was somewhat misinformed about the specifics of gay relationships, as well as the basic laws of space, time, and physics.
You see, rather than sharing the popular religious belief that homosexual intercourse is a sin, the president is simply under the impression that legal marital equality would successfully compel thousands of storks to begin to deliver large numbers of babies to gay couples within an unreasonably short period of time. His concern is that this series of events would then cause the diversion of thousands of commercial airliners into federally protected airspace. In the interest of time I won't go into any further detail, but I will say that the bar graphs on the president's powerpoint presentation were particularly convincing.
I'm leaving work and I don't see this going anywhere, so maybe I'll be back in another month to add more. See you in hell, mother fuckers!
posted by Murph at 3:01 PM
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