I'd Rather be a Firefighter

You don't ask the guy at blockbuster to let you have 2 Fast 2 Furious for half price while your at the counter renting XXX: State of the Union, right? And you don't ask the hooker you bought for the hour to stay late and throw in an extra cincinatti bowtie on the house. So why does everyone always ask the cable guy to hook them up with free HBO like they're old pals? Cable guys are people, too. Just because their lives took a horrible, horrible turn somewhere along the way to becoming an astronaut, doesn't mean that they don't deserve your respect. I mean, there have been plenty of times that I've looked at a chick's ass and mumbled to myself that I would trade my soul to smother it in bold and spicy A-1 sauce and pound it like I caught it stealing money from an orphan's college fund. The only difference is that the devil must have been listening when the cable guy said that. It's just straight out bad luck when you sit down and think about it rationally. So in the future, stop assuming that the guy installing your cable is willing to put his job on the line so that you can jack off to The Princess Diaries 2 without paying $12 a month, because it's just plain selfish.