Friday, June 30, 2006

I'd Rather be a Firefighter

You don't ask the guy at blockbuster to let you have 2 Fast 2 Furious for half price while your at the counter renting XXX: State of the Union, right? And you don't ask the hooker you bought for the hour to stay late and throw in an extra cincinatti bowtie on the house. So why does everyone always ask the cable guy to hook them up with free HBO like they're old pals? Cable guys are people, too. Just because their lives took a horrible, horrible turn somewhere along the way to becoming an astronaut, doesn't mean that they don't deserve your respect. I mean, there have been plenty of times that I've looked at a chick's ass and mumbled to myself that I would trade my soul to smother it in bold and spicy A-1 sauce and pound it like I caught it stealing money from an orphan's college fund. The only difference is that the devil must have been listening when the cable guy said that. It's just straight out bad luck when you sit down and think about it rationally. So in the future, stop assuming that the guy installing your cable is willing to put his job on the line so that you can jack off to The Princess Diaries 2 without paying $12 a month, because it's just plain selfish.

7 Comments:

Blogger Kara said...

That guy in the picture doesn't look much like you. I like his underwear, though.

I'm going to go look up what "cincinatti bowtie" means.

1:26 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Kara said...

omg.

1:27 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Murph said...

That's me alright, and I'm not sure what a cincinnati bowtie is, I'll have to look it up somewhere where I won't get fired.

1:43 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Kara said...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cincinatti+bowtie

I can't wait to tell grandma what I learned today!

2:11 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger CHARLIE MONEY said...

hookers' prices are negotiable aren't they?

2:34 PM, July 03, 2006  
Blogger Michael said...

Cincinnati Bowtie? That was an education. I mentioned it to some friends and now it's a running gag with us.

11:03 AM, July 05, 2006  
Blogger Rowan said...

If you rent Brokeback Mountain, you can jerk off to Princess Mia half naked in the backseat of a car. 'Course, you have to sit through a lot of gay cowboy stuff, but it's worth it just to go "Princess Mia!!"

7:40 PM, July 05, 2006  

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